When Your Life Turns to Mush (Why That Might Be a Good Sign)

Growth. There’s a moment in every transformation that looks nothing like progress.

A caterpillar doesn’t go straight from leaf‑munching to butterfly. It willingly climbs into a dark little coffin of its own making… and turns to mush. Inside the chrysalis, it literally dissolves. There’s no caterpillar, no butterfly; just a kind of sacred goo.

Are you possibly “in the goo of life” right now?

The job ends, the relationship changes, or a health diagnosis emerges and your old identity falls away. The spiritual practices thatusedto work suddenly feel flat. We lose our sense of “this is who I am” and “this is where I’m going.” It can feel like no‑man’s‑land, the void, or as one of my clients said, “emotional oatmeal.”

Our conditioning tells us, “You must be doing it wrong. You’re going backward. You’ve lost alignment, your mojo, your faith, or even your mind.”

But what if the mush is not a mistake, but a necessary stage of evolution?

In my recent talk at Unity Vancouver on the practicality of spirituality (click here to watch), I shared this caterpillar–mush–butterfly story as a way of naming that in‑between. Practical spirituality is the practice of excelling, and it doesn’t promise we’ll never hit the void again. It gives us tools to movethroughit with more kindness, clarity, and power; to find the promise in the pain.

That’s why I createdthe ABCs of Forgiveness, as an easy reminder that even in our deepest, darkest moments, we’re right on trackifwe choose to look at it that way. They’re how we “direct the movie of our life” when the old script has fallen apart and the new one hasn’t quite appeared, or we’re still learning our new lines.

A – Acknowledge what’s happening inside without judgment.

“I notice the part of me that believes this has to be hard.”

B – Bless, not blast the hurting part.

“You get to be held. We don’t have to attack ourselves.”

C – Choose a better‑feeling thought and the next right step.

“I choose a kinder story and a future‑aligned action.”

Every time you do this, you’re honing an evolutionary leadership practice. You’re sending your nervous system new data:I am safe. I am learning. I am growing.You’re merging into your new identity with more ease. Instead of resisting evolution, you consciously begin to cooperate with your higher consciousness, whose job is to move you from caterpillar to butterfly.

To make this easy to remember and practice, I invite my clients to create an album on their phones called “My Movie” where they can save this mini poster as a “Power Pause” to contemplate. You’ll find the poster at the bottom of this article.

And because our mush‑moments usually happen in the middle of chaos at home or at work, not on a quiet retreat, the ABCs of Forgiveness become a powerful pattern interrupt. This is how we gradually change the brain’s automatic default system, retraining it from assuming ‘threat’ to ‘conscious choice’.

Use the ABCs whenever life feels like goo.

They get you back to centre: you’re not going backward. You’re in the chrysalis. And somewhere inside the mush, new wings are already forming. That’s your new identity. The invitation? Act like it now, before your wings emerge, with grace and gratitude for what is occurring.

Goo is a good thing - and you’re getting better at navigating it!