Category: Self Development

Dec25

Joy is not the absence of pain, it’s the sacred acceptance of it

by Cheryl Brewster

Like you, I’ve experienced a lot of joy in my life, and a lot of pain. I recognize that both are integral dance partners, challenging assumptions and perceptions of reality.

JOY in my experience is the ever-present, inner quality of the soul, always in the background, and yet often expressing itself spontaneously and with great love. In fact I would say it’s one of the highest forms of love. And nothing is more comforting than knowing whatever befalls us, whatever conflict is gurgling inside of us, love prevails. When love prevails, joy does too. It’s an immutable law of the universe.

Which is why I’m so big on JOY. It’s fear’s faithful companion in the Hero’s Journey; the call to the Soul to express its true nature. By embracing what’s NOT working with kindness rather than with judgment, JOY looks for what is possible, opens dimensions of consciousness for fresh insight and new that solutions expand soul growth and greater effectiveness in life.

JOY means you’re true to the “real you” inside. The one that you’ll always be in discovery of. The one that lives in integrity with the law of nature, at one with itself and the universe.

JOY is always possible because it takes conflict and uses it to evolve consciousness.

There’s nothing more rewarding than that! No matter what’s going on, as we surrender to this inner quality inside, we make peace with our inner dragons and begin to tame them. That’s my definition of J.O.Y. – Just Open Yourself to this exquisite power inside. The sooner the better, for as the Course in Miracles reminds us:

Peace is our only goal and forgiveness is our only function.

Joy is not the fluffy stuff of unicorns and rainbows. It’s not surface. It’s deep. It’s strong because it’s emerged from transcending the sorrows of life. It knows that day always follow the night, so it trusts the light even when it can’t be seen. That’s joy. That’s the culmination of a deep, solid decision to trust life and be willing to continually face uncertainty with courage, grace, commitment and eventually, a sense of adventure.

Joy is the willingness to keep growing.
It’s the decision to embrace Beginner’s Mind, to cast ego pride aside, admit uncertainty and keep going anyway, learning how to walk in the new world with baby steps that include vulnerability, asking for help, many falls, scrapes and the infinite call to patience. Joy is knowing we are multi-dimensional, that everything really is okay, even when the ego insists it’s not. Joy is mindfulness, presence, and power rather than force.

In Stoicism, the Ancient Greek philosophy that emphasizes self-control, happiness or joy is defined as “eudaimonia” which means human flourishing and consists of growth, authenticity, meaning, and excellence. I’d say my definition of Joy is the same, it’s just a whole lot easier to spell . Like Stoicism, it speaks to the true nature of authenticity and the our evolution of expanding integrity and virtue of character. This is where joy and pain intersect. We’ll keep finding parts of ourselves that need to be surrendered to reveal the deeper authenticity within. I believe we do this best using joy – we will find all kinds of things that need to change, but joy’s response will be purposeful because it’s one of evolution. First we do things from love, then through love, then AS love. Joy identifies and releases patterns that don’t work, that keep us stuck in guilt or paralysis and makes healing possible.

Joy befriends the guilt. It provides safe passage for the pain to flow through. It is more interested in growth than being right. It’s not argumentative nor a perfectionist. Metaphorically, it likes to play in the dirt, in the imagination of mud pies that call to us when we take life too seriously.

So, the next time you find yourself wondering what happened to your joy. Know that it will come back. It didn’t go away, it’s still there, always in the background; you’ve just got some emotional processing to do. Painful emotions are a sign of growth and the reward is truly worth the effort. That’s why joy is not the absence of sorrow, it’s the sacred acceptance of it.

In the immortal words of poet William Blake, we find the seeds of resilience and true prosperity in this force of love called JOY:

Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine,
Under every grief and pine,
Runs a joy with silken twine.
It is right it should be so,
We were made for joy and woe,
And when this we rightly know,
Through the world we safely go.

 

Oct01

Get Back Up Again! You Can Do It!

by Cheryl Brewster

Do you need an attitude adjustment? I know I often do. Despite all the times I’ve triumphantly faced fear in the past, an alarm bell still rudely announces a comfort zone.

You too?!

Doesn’t it feel good to know that you’re not alone? As you face your fears, take comfort because you’ve been willing to grow. Growth is more important than fear, and yet if there’s an upside to fear, it’s good at making us review our choices. In the War of Art, Steven Pressfield inspires us from his experience: “Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do… the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”

I’ve come to recognize that the fear and pain in confronting a comfort zone is most often the pain of “not” doing it. When I channel that pain, I bust through. It’s hard, gritty work, this busting through… as Carl Jung said, “there’s no coming to consciousness without pain.” As I continue to grow, exciting things happen – the more I accept what I don’t like, the more power I have to move through it… it’s ironic how all that fear really isn’t the evil monster it appears to be… fear is simply energy with the impurity of judgement being pulled out of it so it can be used productively.

What’s the One Thing You Can Control?
This one thing I’ve learned is that it doesn’t really matter how much fear I’m experiencing… what’s more important in determining an effective outcome, is my “attitude” about the fear.  Sometimes I feel the fear and do it anyway, and sometimes I don’t… it can feel bigger than me. But my attitude? Absolutely, that’s totally in my control and it’s a good wake-up call to review it regularly.

So take heart… some days we are brilliant at life. In others, we feel like we’re in a bad movie and can’t get out. It’s okay! We’re growing! The world can feel a bit (or a lot) surreal in the depth of these changes. Just remember this one thing…. as overstated and simplistic as it sounds, I don’t think we should ever get tired of appreciating that… attitude truly is everything! Attitude can be seen as an oracle; it will predict our future. Accurately. Every time. Hence, the importance of “deep listening to Source, and the courage to take time out, to pause, reflect and give ourselves the time and space to think. That’s part of “attitudinal healing.”

Attitude is defined as “a feeling or way of thinking that affects a person’s behavior.” When I judge fear I shutdown, I close my heart. And when I close my heart, I stop creating, and when I stop creating, I lose my joy. And life is just way too precious to do that! So that’s where forgiveness comes in; recognizing where my attitude needs to change. Forgiveness breaks the cycle.  It brings light to the darkness and dispels the shadow that can become so thick, it dams the joy of life. I’ve come to call this harmful aspect of ego the “inner KGB” – an acronym for “Killer Gremlin Brutality”  gone overboard. If not caught, it becomes devastating.

As Michael Singer so aptly describes in his book The Untethered Soul, “right now, many fragmented parts of your psyche are held within you. If you want to be free, it all has to be equally exposed to your awareness and released.”  He describes how when a blockage gets hit, “it’s a good thing – it’s time to open up internally and release the blocked energy.”

What’s the One Thing You Can Do?
“If you fall along the way, just get up and forget it. Use the lesson to strengthen your resolve. Let go right then. Do not rationalize, blame or try to figure it out. Don’t do anything. Just let go immediately and allow the energy to go back to the highest centre of consciousness it can achieve. If you feel shame, let it go. If you feel fear, let it go. All of these are the remnants of the blocked energy that is finally being purified…. the whole process is very exciting, and you will have good times and bad times. All sorts of things will happen. That’s the fun of the journey.”

Where are you on your journey of life and business? Prosperity has many forms, but its key common denominator, is peace of mind. May you continue to grow, be brave, get back up again when it’s hard and celebrate your successes even in the lean times. Gratitude, like attitude is everything. Keep on keeping on… your intuition will always show you the way.

  • An entrepreneur’s forgiveness prayer…. for all the things that I should’ve, could’ve done, I forgive myself, so I can get up and do what I need to do and not feel bad about it… but instead, be excited about it!
  • A mother’s forgiveness prayer…. for not being able to do the impossible, I forgive myself, and resolve to be clear on what I can do and let that be enough
  • A creative’s forgiveness prayer… for how hard I’ve worked to suppress my talent, I forgive myself
  • A world prayer… for how I judged and didn’t see, the beauty that was inside of me…. may I be at peace and be happy, may all beings be at peace and be happy

If you enjoyed this blog, please share! Cheryl Brewster is a contributing author to pursuit:365,  a business intuitive, coach and speaker, supporting entrepreneurs and organizations with big vision to define, create and deliver the greatest value in the marketplace, as effortlessly as possible. Check her website for upcoming events or to book a complimentary 15 min discovery call/intuitive session, book here.

Apr11

The Antidote to Stuckness

by Cheryl Brewster

How do you feel about your stuckness?

Are you like me? Where I feel stuck is in how I judge my stuckness. Intellectually I know that stuckness is an inevitable part of life. But oh, if I’m not paying attention, how I can get caught up in hating it! I hate it because of how it makes me feel; ineffective, weak, lacking, ridiculous, hypercritical – ugh – it just feels awful! How many of us are feeling stuck with the changes that the Covid-19 virus has precipitated?

Asking productive questions to catch the blind spots of habit is a powerful antidote. If I could develop ways of catching myself when I start sinking down into the depths of despair, think of the freedom that could take place! If I used how I judged myself as a path to greater awareness, I would be practicing transcendence, the art of spiritual awakening and just plain common sense. I would be mastering the ABCs of Intuition as a form of energy management and accomplish what my heart really, truly desires, no matter what the circumstances around me.

To use pain as a productive tool of transformation defies the conditioning, apathy, stupor, even the stupidity of mankind – it calls out the deprivation that would seek to harm and vanquish the very real battle we each face in determining, will my life stand for something meaningful or will I just “surface-live” because it’s more convenient? The ultimate question, really is, will I live my life for good or for evil? Evil is a lack of love, a diminishing of life, an ignorance that demands power and control at the expense of anyone and anything else. So here we are, over the past few weeks, facing the harsh reality of a species on the brink of possible cataclysmic failure if we do not wake up, and drop our individual and collective apathy on one side and need for control on the other.

Every single one of us needs to wake up. Many of us are, yet this one thing remains… the call to drop the judgment that keeps us prisoner to suppression of our personal authentic power.

Evil is the word “Live” spelled backwards. Judging our stuckness sends us straight to experiencing hell on earth – to the irrational acronym of G-U-I-L-T: Gut-wrenching, Useless, Insidious, Lies (and) Torment.

I refuse to contribute one second longer to the virus eating away at the sanctity of mankind. Yes, I will wash my hands; and just as importantly; I will wash my mind and my emotions of disempowering, harmful voices. I will take my stand and re-frame stuckness as the Law of Opposites at play; part of the natural rhythm of life. Instead of labeling stuckness as some horrible, terrible thing, I will choose to see it as the very important impasse or right of passage that creates and grooms a new way of thinking and being in this world. Stuckness is a part of the evolutionary phase that begs the question, will I react with judgment and condemnation or will I use it to rise into a higher consciousness? What could happen if stuckness was showing me something new that I hadn’t seen before? What if stuckness is nature’s way of saying there’s a better way? And isn’t that what’s facing us on rebuilding our lives and economy during and post corona virus? Isn’t the whole message one of coming back to what’s most important? And doesn’t that point us back to values that stand the test of time and a connecting back into community; that authentic sense of self and togetherness that ensures innovation, creativity and cooperation for a healthier planet and world?

Oh! The relief that comes with the release of the need to fight, to struggle, to continually feel defeated by inner and outer challenge!

In contemplating this in mediation, I had a vision of St. Francis of Assisi who reminded me that all great leaders have learned this one very important thing – to use stuckness as a catalyst for powerful, important change. Judgment and self-condemnation leading to “less than” thinking, is the virus that has been bred into us for centuries. It is the need for power and control, manipulation and economics that twist moral values, where consumerism has replaced the God of our hearts.

Let us rip away the twin masks of blame and shame and mirror instead, the possibilities of life, healing, innovation and progress that exist through challenges and obstacles. We live in a world that so desperately needs to come back to sanity. By choosing love as a commitment and principle to live by, no matter what, we can then practice the very important Stoic philosophy of “Amor Fati,” which means to embrace fate, to accept the reality of what is and productively use all adversity and obstacles as fuel for the fire of our potential!

So how you do you feel about your stuckness? Will it feed your potential rather than smother it? Will you join me in blessing it and practicing the message of the Easter Story; the message of forgiveness, death to apathy on one side and ego-control on the other? Will you join me in the most courageous act possible; the one of self-forgiveness that leads to loving the self as much as the Divine within? If not now, when? How much longer do we need to wait?

“Your Intention to Love, no matter what, is the absolute Key to Happiness” – Robert Holden

It’s so important that we use stuckness as the opportunity that it provides; to become aware of our negativity in judging it and therefore make the switch back to sanity; to positive reinforcement and the invitation to overcome through the transcendent power of love.

Negative self-accusations and questions lead us straight to creating Hell as our personal reality. As author Robert Holden pointed out in his book Happiness “Now, in H.E.L.L., all the letters stand alone: (the) Horrific Effect (of not enough) Love (and) Laughter, (waiting to be undone). In H.E.A.V.E.N. all the letters stand together: Happiness (next to) Eternity; Abundance, Vision, (and) Ease (joined to) Now (as one).”

In this pandemic we have the opportunity and responsibility to stop creating hell on earth and literally create a new earth. It will come by our individual and collective willingness to be live in deeper alignment with the laws of nature and spirituality – the law of love in action. As WW2 concentration camp survivor Victor Frankl noted, “the last of human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Choose well. Choose to use your own personal stuckness not as a stopping place, but a stepping stone into an attitude of grace, faith, fortitude and victory. Take Your Stand for what Inspires you and do it. Take Your Stand for what Empowers you and do it. Take Your Stand for values born out of compassion rather than consumerism. Forgive your past mistakes, embrace the wisdom they birthed, and step into a future with a fortified sense of commitment, compassion and vision. In the words of Albert Camus, find that invincible summer within yourself, that has the strength to hold the winter. Take Your Stand. There is a power inside of you that can and will handle anything thrown its way. Aware, Breathe, Connect to the Heart. We were born for these times, let us navigate them as nature intended. Let us transcend and live from this place of inner freedom that defies any and all attempts to vanquish it. Like the Easter Story, let us rise again… yes, let us rise! Intuition leads the way…. follow it.

Call to Action: Make the switch from the inner hyper-critical judge to the observer mind that sees the bigger picture. Observe your life like a movie…. what could happen in this moment by committing to love rather than fear? Notice the options that surface and choose that better feeling thought to make a new choice that empowers. This is your fork in the road. It’s in the tiniest of decisions and attitude adjustments that show us the way back home.

Inspiration: Canadian Choir of Women Physicians sings RISE AGAIN (virtually)

Rev. Cheryl Brewster, B.Msc.
I empower individuals and organizations to stay inspired and keep moving forward in positive, productive ways, no matter what changes, challenges or adversities they may face.

Personal and Business Intuitive, Consultant/Training/Keynotes/ specializing in:
Intuition in Business, Radical Joy through Conflict Resolution/Communication/
Resiliency Skills, Ordained Minister/Wedding Officiant and Life Celebrant

Apr19

The Obstacle is the Way: When Challenge Becomes Inspiration

by Cheryl Brewster

Feeling discouraged or overwhelmed with life’s challenges? Try this… it works! Amor Fati  is a term from Stoic philosophy that is an absolute lifesaver. It means to embrace your fate… to make the best out of anything that happens, treating each and every moment—no matter how challenging—as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be okay with it, but love it and be better for it, so that like oxygen to a fire, obstacles and adversity become fuel for our potential.

The whole idea of Stoic philosophy is based on the word virtue, which is another word for strength, by living in alignment with nature.  In my experience, a critical prerequisite that makes the idea of amor fati even remotely possible, is self-compassion. If you are highly intuitive, empathic, a caregiver, emotionally sensitive, have experienced trauma or have a  tendency to avoid conflict, (sounds like all of us), this is especially important. When faced with challenge, our biology can take over and the amygdala part of our brain takes us straight into fight, flight or freeze. We lose the ability to intuit or think clearly. We put ourselves at risk for losing rational thought by either going numb and shutting down, or blowing up and blowing things out of proportion.  It’s pretty hard to practice amor fati, when all this is going on! It’s called an “amygdala hijack.”

Science defines this hijack of our limbic system,  as an immediate, overwhelming emotional response that comes with a later realization: that the response was inappropriately strong given the trigger. Compassion for self helps to create a pattern interrupt in this biological, chemical explosion… it says, wait a minute, you’re getting upset, what’s going on here, what unmet needs are asking for attention right now, what do you need? This is a form of amor fati… redirecting overwhelm into something more constructive.

Stop the Amygdala Hijack in its Tracks!
  1. Know the signs: Get familiar with the the body sensations that indicate something’s coming up (like a racing heart, sweaty palms, that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, dizziness, etc.)
  2. Take 3 relaxed breaths to chill – it takes approximately six seconds for the chemicals spewing out from the amygdala to dissipate
  3. Your hand on your heart prompts the release of the oxytocyn, an anti-stress hormone that lowers, blood pressure and cortisol levels
  4. Re-frame uncomfortable feelings by seeing them as chemical reactions taking place in the body; don’t judge! Part of what gets us into trouble, keeping us stuck in these emotional vortexes is self-blame. Of course you have emotional triggers… they are a part of your biology. Use compassion to give them a safe place to land. They’re allowed to be here, even if (especially if) you don’t like them. With kindness rather than judgement, the tidal wave of emotion begins to  dissipate, the overcharged amygdala calms down, so sound reasoning and intuition can be accessed once again. It takes time, but it works. Besides, nothing is more rewarding than transforming chronic worry, anxiety or irrational guilt and thinking distortions.
  5. Create some time for evaluation: sit down and engage your logic with writing – the logical brain wants to help sort through the situation – make a list of what you’ve learned about yourself, and how you can apply insights for future application
  6. Keep practicing being okay with what is, without wanting it to be any different. When we adopt the duo of self-compassion and amor fati as a lifestyle change, we stay more present, enjoying life, and being empowered by it, even when it’s difficult. We work with what we can control, rather than exhausting ourselves with what we can’t. We reverse energy drains to energy gains, and that’s hugely important, to stay on the pathway of living our potential no matter what the circumstances.

This is a game-changer; What a way to live and work… when challenge becomes inspiration and stays that way! Empowerment is strength, the outcome of living in alignment with nature, sound reasoning and your intuition. Contact me if this blog has stirred questions or insights for you or your work teams. By converting challenge to inspiration, we empower individuals and workplaces with resiliency, vision and team work.

“Disempowerment is the nemesis of intuition because it allows the subconscious to protect you from the truths you need to be listening for. Alternatively, when you practice empowerment, your intuitive information will follow in abundance.” – Laura Day

Rev. Cheryl Brewster, B.Msc.
I empower individuals and organizations to stay inspired and keep moving forward in positive, productive ways, no matter what changes, challenges or adversities they may face.

Personal and Business Intuitive, Consultant/Training/Keynotes/ specializing in:
Intuition in Business, Radical Joy through Conflict Resolution/Communication/
Resiliency Skills, Ordained Minister/Wedding Officiant and Life Celebrant

 

 

 

Mar15

How to Live Your “Calling”

by Cheryl Brewster

Do you have a “calling“? That deep sense of purpose or urge within you that “must” be explored.

Are you:

  • Feeling a shift coming; a hint of something new that hasn’t quite arrived yet?
  • Already working on your passion with great enthusiasm but results are taking longer than expected leaving you with a feeling of stagnation?
  • Feeling that your life is in the doldrums… not much is happening and you’re not sure what to do?

These occasions can be very unsettling and we can begin to:

  • Doubt ourselves and the bigger picture of our lives.
  • Give up hope and slip into confusion or despair.
  • Romanticize about the good old days before we followed our passion.
  • Feel anxiety about our future, regret decisions and condemn mistakes from the past.

In short, when things get difficult or seem to have run their course, we get scared and shut down. But we need to do the opposite; we must keep our hearts open.

Gregg Levoy in his book entitled “Callings” describes this ebb and flow beautifully:
“We love to quote the philosopher and poet Goethe who said that “whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. But we forget that he also said, “To put your ideas into action is the most difficult thing in the world.”

And from poet Stanley Kuntiz: “The poem in the head is always perfect. The challenge comes when we try to convert it into language. This is especially so when we discover, as we often do that saying yes to a calling requires not just one act of heroism and risk-taking, but a prolonged period of action that can stretch into years.”

We must remember this when things get hard. We must continue to “take our stand” for our callings. Our callings have two fundamental features to them; they give great meaning to our lives… and they always come with a way through. But we must listen to that intuitive heart centre to find our way!  So how do we stay open to our callings and the new directions they take us in?

6 Simple Steps to Feed the Calling of Your Soul

1. Know Thyself!
Philosopher J. Krishnamurti reminds us that “the mind is the result of the known; it is the result of the past.” This past includes the limitations of a conditioned mind. In order to free ourselves from those limitations, we must be willing to see what’s ineffective in our thinking and release it. Observe yourself – watch how consciously or unconsciously you do things… as awareness and self acceptance increase, so does authentic personal power. These “aha” moments of, “oh, that’s what I really do” are life-changing when we follow through on them.

2. Practice Silence
An occupied mind is a busy mind, too full for anything new, original or creative. Mindfulness steeped in self-compassion keeps the heart and mind open to receive insight. Receiving equals energy – this is critical for those prolonged periods of action that our callings require. Practice silence by moving attention away from a busy, consumed mind, and instead, into the quiet, the stillness.

3. Practice “one-minute comfort breathing”
Risk taking and heroism arise from your bigger sense of self  – your “little I” will be challenged… expect that and be prepared for it.  A breathing exercise that brings immense comfort is “breathing in, I see the me that is uncertain.  Breathing out, I smile a hug into it.”

4. Use fear to your advantage
As Thich Nhat Hanh encourages, “we have the power to look deeply at our fears, and then fear cannot control us. Fearlessness is not only possible, it is the ultimate joy. When you touch nonfear, you are free.”  How do we touch nonfear? Accept yourself as you are now, while simultaneously dropping self-defeating thoughts. We tend to think we’d be free if we didn’t experience fear, but that’s just not the case! If you can be free even though you have uncomfortable feelings, then you really are free! Let’s face it, there’s always going to be something that challenges us, but when you’re not overcome by those uncomfortable feelings, you really are free. So now, we are giving birth to impertability – we begin to cultivate a mind that is beyond disturbance.

5. Practice “what if”
What’s that one thing you’ve been really wanting to do but you’ve been putting off? What will you feel like when it’s done? Just a few minutes visualizing that can free up the energy to take that one first step… and then another, and another.

6. Be strategic with intuition
What does your soul need to replenish itself? If you took just one mindful minute right now to ask that question… you would be tapping into the energy of your calling… you’d be cultivating the wisdom and strength required to do the most difficult thing possible… put your ideas into the world. And that is the joy of living your calling – Take Your Stand!

Call to Action:
Rather than judge your emotions as good or bad…. see them all as equally important. Enjoy experimenting with the steps above and share your experience with me… I’d love to hear from you. Or better yet, if you are new to my work, let’s book a complimentary 15 minute exploratory session. And if you are an existing client and it’s been a while since we’ve connected, let’s get you in for that one-on-one session or workshop to explore and rejuvenate your stand with complimentary 15 minute post session follow-up!

If you enjoyed this article, let us know! Individuals and organizations find Cheryl Brewster’s expertise as a Professional Intuitive, Transformational Speaker and Coach refreshing and timely. Her private clients experience greater clarity and confidence in taking action during transition. In her corporate workshops, Cheryl inspires focus and follow-through. To explore her work further, visit TheIntuitiveLife.com or email cheryl@theintuitivelife.com.

 

 

 

Dec29

Radical Joy: Embracing Your Shadow part 2

by Cheryl Brewster

Radical Joy means embracing the shadow parts of us that we don’t like; seeing them as potential power houses rather than shameful attributes to be hidden and avoided. Embracing our shadows frees up their creative potential to move us forward, rather than hold us back. This is why the word radical is so important. We must be diligent in pursuing our joy… we must be radical in cultivating it in our lives, which includes being radical in how we look at our shadows and their inherent repressed emotion.

Radical both as noun and adjective are defined as:
a) “of going to the root or origin; fundamental”
b) favouring drastic reform
c) a person who holds or follows strong convictions or extreme principles

When it comes to joy, going to the root or origin of joy is fundamental to our health. We must nurture it, and if we haven’t been (how many of us really do?), then we definitely need to favour drastic reform, which means getting clear and strong in our convictions.

In her book Molecules of Emotion, American Neuroscientist and Pharmacologist, Candace Pert says….
“I believe that happiness is our natural state, that bliss is hardwired. Only when our systems get blocked, shut down, and disarrayed do we experience the mood disorders that add up to unhappiness in the extreme…. My research has shown me that when emotions are expressed… are flowing freely – all systems are united and made whole. When emotions are repressed, denied, not allowed to be whatever they may be, our network pathways get blocked, stopping the flow of the vital feel-good, unifying chemicals that run both our biology and our behavior.  This I believe is the unhealed feeling we want so desperately to escape from.”

This is where intuition, faith and follow-through come in. In the spiritual awakening process that we are going through en masse, our intuition is leading us to the places that we have been avoiding…. As Eleanor Roosevelt said so wisely, many years ago “you must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Ugh! That’s hard! Yet we are being shown a better life, if we would but trust our heart’s guidance.  Faith in our natural state of being hardwired for bliss means a radical shift in perspective… it means that we must forfeit “apparent success” for the foundation of “what’s real.” Not easy. But necessary.

We must be radical in embracing our natural state of bliss which includes embracing shadow work which doesn’t feel so blissful. This is the faith and follow-through of sound spirituality and communication with self and others…. The ability to observe, to practice mindfulness and to understand and embrace and transmute previously denied emotions. If left denied, they will tear us apart and we remain ignorant of their true function… to help us integrate our humanity and our divinity.

Over time, as author Michael Singer outlines in his book The Untethered Soul, “you will come to realize that the center from which you watch disturbance cannot get disturbed… you will understand what it means to be transcendent. This transcendence can only come from embracing the shadow which eventually drops the insistence that things be different than they are. When we are willing to let that go, the inner force that sustains, feeds and guides us from deep within returns us to the ocean of energy that we came from. We will still have thoughts, emotions and a self-concept, but they will just be a small part of our experience.  We begin to stop identifying with anything outside the sense of Self and over time, we never have to worry about things ever again!”

How radical is that?! To embrace the shadow with its terrifying emotions, knowing that in doing so, we are channelling that previously stuck energy into productive pathways that are nothing less than pure freedom.

Radical? Yes! Necessary? Absolutely. Viable? Only to the extent that we are willing to experience the temporary pain of letting go of our long-held suffering. It takes time. It’s not comfortable. But it’s the most authentic life we will ever live.  Keep going. Be strong. Have faith. Listen to your heart. Purify the mind, drop the insistence that things must be different than they are, and experience the mystery of “peace that passes all understanding.”

Radical Joy is Radical Self-Acceptance… giving yourself the compassion and respect that you so desire from your world. From the inside-out, radical joy embraces the shadow for a radically different life.

Call to Action:
Rather than judge your emotions as good or bad…. see them all as equally important. As Pert outlines in her research, we do this “first by acknowledging and claiming all our feelings, not just the so-called positive ones. Anger, grief, fear – these emotional experiences are not negative in themselves; in fact they are vital for our survival…The goal is to keep information flowing, feedback systems working and natural balance maintained, all of which we can help to achieve by a conscious decision to enter in the bodymind’s conversation.”

If you enjoyed this article, let us know! Individuals and organizations find Cheryl Brewster’s expertise as a Transformational Speaker and Coach refreshing and timely. She inspires growth in empowerment and connection through creativity and transition. To explore her work further, visit TheIntuitiveLife.com or email to book a complimentary 15 minute exploratory session.

 

 

 

Nov26

Radical Joy: Embracing Your Shadow part 1

by Cheryl Brewster

Ugh. There are parts of life that we just don’t like. And they will always reflect parts of “US” that we don’t like. The parts that we have repressed, suppressed and denied, tucked away where we can’t see, so we don’t have to deal with them. All those parts of us that we’ll address another day, when we have more time; when there’s not so much going on. But one day, suddenly, much to our  horror… we’re stopped. Dead. Our creative genius, the energy behind peace, purpose and productivity goes on strike.

Has this ever happened to you? You’re bopping along, doing just fine. Or think you are. Sure, there are some things you need to change, but it’s just not convenient to deal with them right now, so you carry on. Until suddenly, your creative genius says, “that’s it, nothing more until you look at this!”  It’s the weirdest, most uncomfortable feeling in the world. Not understanding why you feel so immobilized, just knowing that you do, your gut is telling you that you can’t afford to ignore this any longer. What? Slow down? Change gears? Do something different? That’s the very last thing you want to do. You want to shake this feeling, bust out of the weirdness of this no-man’s land, this twilight zone, and get back into action and finish your important projects. Ah, but those projects driven by your creative genius, have undergone the ultimate mutiny… they’ve been abandoned, and you’re left behind, holding the empty bag of your hopes and dreams, with nothing to show for it.  And now the anxiety is starting to set in… big time!

Welcome to “Divine Discontent.” 
The problem is, divine discontent is rarely, if ever, convenient. But it does herald positive change! Behind it however, we must embrace…. our shadow. Yikes! Ugh. All those uncomfortable emotions and regrets of shoulda, coulda, woulda.

But here’s the exciting paradox… “That shadow is not a bad thing… it’s not negative or evil, but instead dark or not yet illuminated. It consists of all the things inside us that we don’t want to face… those things that appear harmful but also potentially enlightening… all that we have rejected, denied, disowned or repressed… it is simply unintegrated energy, and until we learn how to tap into this energy and transmute its power, we will never become a fully integrated or fully awakened human beings.” (Charlie Morley, in his book Dreaming Through Darkness). Phew! What a relief. And an exciting added bonus is this – as the legendary “shadow master” Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung put it:

 “The truth of the matter is that the shadow is ninety percent pure gold.”

WOW! I’ve had my fair share of radical shadow experiences, but I have to say, that using this approach totally revolutionized how I’m choosing to look at the shadow… with far less fear and far more appreciation for the insight, healing, energy, focus and clarity that it offers. Peace, calm and clarity come, not from “running away” from the shadow, but instead “running to it.” No, it’s not easy, and yes, there is pain… but far better to have it be a temporary pain of release than the excruciating pain of existential angst that sucks the soul dry and makes life a living hell.

It’s that freedom from worry that I call Radical Joy… the effervescence of life within us, just itching to come out and create a life that’s meaningful, happy, productive and spectacular… it’s time! 

1. What is your Divine Discontent telling you? The longer you wait to ask it, the more it hurts.
2. Listen. Your heart knows the way. Ask it. You must create the quiet time to ask your intuition, and integrate rather than shun, what your shadow tells you.
3. Be willing to go into the void – the place of not knowing. That’s where releasing of old limitations happens. That’s the place, and the only place, where new insight and integration can begin.
4. Have courage. The way out is the way through. Be diligent in making your life count.
5. Know that you are not alone. Reach out when you need support and trust that whatever it is you are going through, every great person that you admire, has gone through it too… break on through to the other side through your effort to “go all the way” into self-realization.
6. Learning how to work with your shadow is worth the effort! It teaches us how to drop worry, be empowered and joyful.

As I continue to embrace and teach the exciting concepts in “The Hero’s Journey,” as a metaphor for life… I’m simply in awe of this process.  What an incredible adventure! So take heart, know that your deep dark spaces are important gateways in this path to awakening to the True Self within… this awareness and immutability of peace and joy. It’s only through purification of our minds, the willingness to feel and transmute painful emotion, that we experience deeper expressions of our talents, gifts and abilities. Life is too short not to take this to heart and I wish for you this call to action today: be still, go inside, and ask your shadow what it is really trying to show you, what it really needs from you. You’ll be so glad that you did.  Your shadow is simply radical joy, trying to show you something better.

Cheryl Brewster of the Intuitive Life is a transformational speaker and coach to organizations and individuals keen to experience and promote “Radical Joy in Life and Business.” Her motto is that we get far more done when we’re having fun… she uses her dynamic expertise to inspire audiences and coaching clients how to do that, even through the most challenging circumstances.  “Radical Joy… is the relief, energy and comfort that comes from knowing that no matter what happens, you can and are handling it for the best outcome possible.  In addition, Cheryl provides intuitive consultations and spiritual counselling for those wanting to add a deeper component to discovering and living their joy. She is also an ordained interfaith minister, and legal wedding officiant, offering “Intuitive Celebrations” for life’s most meaningful moments.

If you would like to learn more about Cheryl and her services please email or call 604-781-4022 or visit TheIntuitiveLife.com.
We’d love to hear from you! Please take a moment to share your insights from this article with us!

 

 

 

 

 

May02

Finding Focus in Confusion

by Cheryl Brewster

Do you struggle with finding focus in confusion? Is it sometimes  hard  maintaining the energy for your goals, dreams and aspirations? Many factors can impede our “burning desire.” Commitment, faith and follow-through to our bigger dreams and purpose are essential. They help stoke the “fire of desire” back to life when disappointments or setbacks take their toll.

One key ingredient that has surfaced from my own experience and studies in mindfulness and neuroscience is the necessity of compassion. Without a compassionate mindset we can unconsciously  berate ourselves and others for “what could have been.” Instead of building up our “fire of desire” to feed the vision of our higher mind, we can spiral into negativity, self-doubt and confusion. Decisions can become messy, difficult and anxiety-ridden.
To use confusion as a focus for clarity:

1. Begin with a Clean Slate
What would happen if in this moment…
You reflected and forgave yourself for the ways you’ve sabotaged any dreams, goals or intentions?

What would happen if in this moment…
You TRULY forgave yourself and dropped the constant mind chatter of the critical voice? How different could this moment be? How different would your life be over time?

What would happen if in this moment…
You let your resentments go and instead channeled that “victim” energy into creative insight?

2. Keep the Slate Clean
Call on the power of the ABCs of Intuition to continue dropping those super strong unconscious patterns and habits that need to go: Awareness of Behavior = Change. It will take time! However it’s worth the investment. And  it’s very exciting. Using mindfulness to drop thought and focus on the breath is the precursor to emotional intelligence; we get good at dropping intense emotion and coming back to our centre, just by focusing our attention on the breath.  The key is the willingness to be in the discomfort of change! Establish a practice of immediately redirecting negative and limiting thoughts to a “mindful minute” of tenacious peace, followed by a decisive visualization of how you are CHOOSING to respond to life.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
Research has found that mindfulness leads to calm and clarity.  Mark Robert Waldman, neuroscience researcher and author discovered that “When you intensely and consistently focus on your spiritual values and goals, you increase the blood flow to your frontal lobes and anterior cingulate, which causes the activity in emotional centres of the brain to decrease. Conscious intention is the key, and the more you focus on your inner values, the more you can take charge of your life. Thus, meditation – be it religious or secular – enables you to more easily accomplish your goals.”

4. Use Beginner’s Mind to Course-Correct with Compassion
Achieving our goals or creating new systems and sticking to them costs us something; effort – the effort to overcome resistance, to stay in alignment with what’s most important by practicing resolve. We must remember that hesitation magnifies fear while prompt, decisive action crushes it. We must resolve to manage both our memory and our imagination – mismanagement of either creates inferiority, worry and mental monsters that create and keep confusion. Ironically, our willingness to be beginners, to NOT be very good at first, provides acceptance. In that space of course correction, we fan the spark of inspiration within to feed the fire of desire to step up even in the midst of setback and disappointment.  Course correction is the art of compassion in action – it’s transformation at its finest. It’s finding focus in the confusion, finding the energy when we feel we don’t have it, starting where and are, and not stopping.

From Clarity to Confusion: for more information contact Cheryl at TheIntuitiveLife.com to learn more or to book me for a private intuitive consultation, coaching program, lecture for your organization or staff training.

 

Mar01

Stay Inspired in Difficulty – Part 2

by Cheryl Brewster

The Obstacle is the Path. I know this to be true. The very thing that creates confusion in my mind or terror in my gut is the very antidote to that stress. And the answer to that confusion, terror, difficulty, heartbreak, disappointment or challenge is this… it’s here to be used to my advantage.When I approach life from this perspective, I go to a whole new level of awareness and effectiveness.

How about you?

Scott Peck said that “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

That’s huge! Life-changing! It helps us tackle the things we don’t want to, because we have discovered an inner power that transcends our resistance, procrastination or limitations. What are 3 simple steps we can use to develop this kind of life-altering perspective?

1. Use difficulty to your advantage.
Challenge and change are unavoidable. But your perspective is totally your creation. The question is… have you created consciously or unconsciously? Awareness will course-correct perspective to help, not hinder you. It sounds simplistic, but when you “take your stand for inspiration in difficulty,” postponing peace or your sense of capability, is no longer an option. Difficulty is used to your advantage… immediately. Want proof? Identify a current difficulty and list at least 5 ways you can use it to your advantage… you’ll probably find more. Decide on the one tiny baby step you can take right now, in this moment… and then the next and the next.

2. See difficulty as your servant, not your master
What do these names have in common? Terry Fox, Rick Hanson, Nick Fugicic, Christopher Reeves, Maya Angelou, Anne Frank and Victor Frankl? That’s right, they used their obstacles, difficulties and tragedies as inner paths to freedom. Their capacity to see life from this perspective is the same path of power available to us…  Our willingness and commitment to embrace the obstacle as the path redefines us, makes us aware of points of inner power that we didn’t see before. We can start from the humblest beginnings and yet lead the most extraordinary of lives. Immediately.

3. Recognize that all difficulty is the invitation to peak performance.
This perspective cuts through emotional baggage, irrational fear, worry and stress. Difficulty is the very thing that brings out the best in us. The result is knowing we can handle the situation immediately… in the now, the present… “while” we face our shadows, worries or innermost demons.. because the truth is, the hardest battle we will ever fight is with our own thoughts and emotions…. Will we be true to what calls us and stand up for what matters? That’s the call to inner truth, self-trust and personal development and mastery. It’s what gives us the grit, courage and tenacity to do the right thing. It’s what frees us from the insidiousness of  unchallenged fears.

By staying inspired in difficulty, we drop the habit of “hoping the problem will go away,” and embrace a strength that was here all along, but wasn’t being used. Staying inspired in difficulty helps us surpass all forms of mediocrity, victimization, self-doubt and exhaustion. We stop projecting the past onto the future and begin to truly enjoy the present moment. We master the very things that once held us back.

Stay inspired. It is difficulty’s equal partner. The obstacle is the path. Begin today and if you’re stuck or not wondering quite where to start, that’s okay! Start anyway… what’s just one small step you can take right now? Take it! Nothing is more rewarding than “right action!” That’s you mining the gold in the shadow of your subconscious. It’s worth it. And it’s waiting for you!

woman_speaking_to_audienceAbout Cheryl Brewster, B.Msc., Transformational Speaker, Coach and Celebrant. Under every difficulty is a greater inner potential that our intuition accesses. My expertise is inspiring my clients, whether individuals or organizations to re-frame difficulty as a path to tangible, measurable, powerful results and solutions in the areas of life and business that matter most.  If you’d like to learn how my intuitive consults, coaching programs or speaking services, can grow your success, please contact me for a complimentary exploratory call.   As a Celebrant, I also offer officiate ceremonies for life’s most meaningful moments.

Feb14

Stay Inspired in Difficulty – Part 1

by Cheryl Brewster

Challenge in life is inevitable. Despair is optional. However rock-solid confidence is possible, even in times of great difficulty.

Inspiration connects us to what’s most important in life. Like an anchor in stormy harbours and rudder in rough seas, inspiration anchors, grounds, comforts and encourages us. It creates more positive-feeling states even in difficulty. Inspiration is not Pollyanna magical thinking… it contains the grit equal to challenge; it’s the force inside that compels us to take action, to drop irrational fears and be strong in our resolve.

I call inspiration the “fire of desire” that business guru Napoleon Hill talked spoke of when he said: “Strong, deeply rooted desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” It’s the “transcends everything” part that Hill experienced in his own life and inspired in others: “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” That’s what I call true power – looking for the seed of equal or greater benefit, even in difficulty. It’s the turn-around, the fork in the road, the re-frame that turns panic into power, and chaos into order.

10 ways to foster inspiration so it’s there when you really need it:

1. Memorize
Memorize the Napoleon Hill quotes above (or something similar like a meaningful poem, sacred text, etc.)… choose something that makes an impact, that really gets your enthusiasm going! Start each morning contemplating that favourite quote or spiritual principle. As you do, you’ll be engaging your connection to the infinite, creative imagination and intuition so they can deliver “aha gems” when you least expect them.

2. Be Vigilant! Decide!
It’s impossible to be upset when you’re inspired. The truth is, stress can become a habit. If you are putting your focus on the difficulty rather than its seed of equal or greater benefit, then decide to shift your focus. Kill the ANTS! (Acronym for Negative Thought System defined by brain health doctor Daniel Amen). Use visualization; imagine seeing negative thoughts hitting a teflon coating around your mind, that they can’t stick to… it’s a way of “deciding” ahead of time, what’s allowed to stay. Vigilance in watching our thoughts ensures access to accurate intuition, not corrupted by fear or negative thinking.

3. Reflect, Re-frame and Rehearse
Go deep. Why is the particular quote or sacred text that you memorized so important to you? (Aside from a quote, it could be a value, song, a piece of art, a person you admire, etc.)  Think. Go deep. Then write about it. Why is this meaningful to you? How will you use it to meet difficulty? Invite a friend to do the same exercise and verbalize your findings with each other. Sharing reinforces the new options available to you.  Go one step further… draw two columns on a piece of paper…under one, write the word “problem” and list all of the difficulties.  Then cross the word “problem” out and start a new column with the word “project.” You’ll be amazed at the re-frame! Rehearse the new opportunities… visualization supports action!

4. Relax!
To counter-act the physiology of fight or flight, yawning immediately signals the body that it is safe. Forced yawns might feel silly but they work! Try at least 6-10 in a row. Besides, your brain always benefits from extra oxygen. Recall a favorite memory or pastime… take time out to enjoy, reflect, relax!

5. Use the Mindful Minute
Take plenty of “brain breaks” throughout the day – time yourself for a minute and go into stillness or pure imagination. You’ll be rejuvenated and create more focus. It’s been scientifically proven that even a 10-second break every 20 minutes can dramatically improve performance.

Inspiration is like….
A tasty treat for the mind and spirit.
Being equipped with an emergency preparedness kit when you really need it.
Having candles and matches when the power goes out.
The extra energy boost that helps you take action when you know you should, but don’t want to.

woman_speaking_to_audienceAbout Cheryl Brewster, B.Msc: I am a Transformational Speaker, Coach and Life Celebrant. Under every difficulty is a greater inner potential that our intuition accesses. My expertise is helping my clients, whether individuals or organizations to resolve conflict, improve communication, and increase better health, finances, relationships, connection, enjoyment and peace of mind.